It was a long 12 hour day at work. I was officially off duty, but had about 3 hours of work left in order to finish up.
The stress was compounded by my forgetting some necessary paperwork 45 mins away from home. I had to go back and get it as I could not finish up without it.
I was so aggravated with myself and so tired that I allowed temper to flare. (Did this make the task easier?) No! (This only makes my family scatter like roaches when the lights are turned on.) If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
I left the house in a major huff. The drive back allowed me to calm down. I prayed for forgiveness and for God’s help to have the energy to drive the unanticipated 90 minutes extra.
I thought about how fatigue is a major trigger for me. I admit I have a hard time with hope in general when I am worn out.
I realized I got distracted just before the paperwork should have been put in my briefcase. When my focus shifted, my forgetfulness kicked in big time.
I can assure you it will be a long time before I forget the pain of that extra hour & a half drive. I will learn from my mistake and take inventory of my briefcase contents before I drive away.
Maybe this is the lesson I need to take from this experience. When I mess up, it makes more careful the next time, much like a getting a ticket makes me very aware of those black and white speed limit signs. (Honestly, I do wonder why the transportation department doesn’t make them bright orange or lime green if they really do want us to notice them?) :-)
I have also realized that the closer I get to the Lord, He helps me to learn who I am. I will never be without sin in this life, but by God’s grace, I CAN identify those things that tend to trigger my temper. I can learn how to respond rightly and ask for forgiveness readily when I am in the wrong.
God always forgives when we come to Him in humilty and repentance.