It was about 2 years BEFORE the death of my husband that I began a fresh walk, or maybe I should say a RE-freshed walk with the Lord. I had been a Christian for over thirty years, but my relationship with God had become stale and joyless. Depression was a frequent visitor.
It was after attending a women’s retreat where the speaker spoke so personally, so lovingly, of God that I realized just how dead I felt inside.
She spoke of those commandments to love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, with all your strength. I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t even sure what this meant, even though I was CONFIDENT that I belonged to God though faith in Jesus. I had asked Him to be my Savior at age 16.
I remember talking about this to my friend Leah on the drive home. I think God might have smiled that day. He knew I was about to begin some baby steps toward the close fellowship with Him that I desired.
First of all, I was shook the dust off my Bible. I admit there were more times than not when it wasn’t even opened between Sundays. I committed to a Bible study at my church called ‘Get Out of That Pit.’ I was surely in one.
I asked the Lord to reveal Himself to me, to help me see Him in my every day. I started focusing on the good in my life and praising God for His Word and His everlasting love for me.
Jeremiah 29:13 says “And you shall seek Me and you shall find Me when you shall search for Me with all your heart.”
I believe that intentional time of seeking the Lord was preparing me for the most heartbreaking day of my life so far…that time when reliance on Him would surely be my lifeline.
And it didn’t take hours and hours a day. It began with a few dedicated minutes…baby steps to renewed faith.